At Family Camp this summer, one tiny little sentence and one tiny little statement from our teacher totally changed my thinking about a major thing I think about. I cannot get this tiny little sentence out of my mind, so this is what I choose to start blogging (again) about.
Jesus suggested the ride.
What? (you say)
Give me a minute to explain and give some background. First the explanation and then how it changed me...
Mark 4: 35-41
That day when evening came, he said to his disciples, "Let us go over to the other side." Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boats with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him and said to him, "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, "Quiet! Be still!" Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to his disciples, "Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They were terrified and asked each other, "Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!"
I have read the above passage many, many times throughout my life, and this passage of Scripture has always pointed me to lessons on faith, the power of God, or the diety of Christ. But, now, I cannot believe that I had never seen this lesson before. (If you are wondering what I am talking about, I put it in bold type for you above.)
Jesus SUGGESTED the ride in the boat!!! He knew that a storm was coming and that it would be horriffic. He knew that their boat would be NEARLY swamped. But, not only was Jesus with them through the storm, He suggested they get on the boat headed straight for the storm that would rock the world of the disciples.
So, why did this little statement change me so proufoundly?
You know, by know, that R has a condition called hydrocephalus. As a result of this condition, his first five years of life have been filled with surgeries, therapies, doctor's appointments, MRIs, and lots and lots of both heartache and prayer. I have felt like the disciples many times when they asked Him "Teacher, don't you care if we drown?" I have felt like I was drowning more than once on this journey this far. Hydrocephalus is just a crappy condition as it is treated, rather than cured. For this reason, the dreaded increase in spinal fluid pressure can raise its ugly head at any moment (pun very much intended). Yes, there have been many reasons to celebrate along the way and numerous blessings and answered prayers. I have written about many of these in the emails I sent out when R was in and out of the hospital and in previous blogs. But, I have felt many times like this hydro storm was both unplanned and allowed by God...but I never EVER thought that He actually suggested this ride.
He did. He suggested the ride when we finally were able to conceive a child after almost five years of trying. He suggested the ride when we were oblivious new parents who didn't see anything coming. He suggested the ride that has included some of the hardest circumstances and decisions for our precious child that I could ever imagine. He suggested the ride that would result in us having one son, not three to four kiddos as I originally had hoped and planned for. He suggested (or rather demanded) this ride for me, for David, and for R.
I never doubted that He has been with me in the storm because His presence has been so plainly obvious to me. I never doubted that He chose to calm the storm to a drizzle when the last surgery worked over two years ago. I never doubted Him (crazy as that may sound to some of you). But, I did believe that while God allowed R to have hydrocephalus, it was not necessarily something that was planned.
I find such comfort in knowing that He suggested the ride. Why? It means, to me, that this is a journey of purpose (for me and for R). It is a renewed promise for me that God is using this journey in some way in the lives of me, R, and others that is above and beyond what I can see or have knowledge of. It is such a reminder that nothing that happens that is outside His control or foreknowledge, and I am just called to follow Him into the boat -- and hang on tight!
All glory and honor to Him who sits on The Throne and who rides with me in the boat headed in the direction of His choosing...
The Big Decision
10 years ago
4 comments:
He knows. Things happen for a reason, just believe. Since Jackson was born I've believed this. I believe that He chose us to be Jackson's parents knowing all along what a long road we would have. Knowing what hardships and what joys we would face. Knowing all along that we some how could or would handle it (although it may not have felt like it at the time and still may not). He chose us to be his parents and we are so very thankful for that. We have such amazing, brave, strong little boys who have both been thru so much and I'm so lucky to have met you and Rob and David and very glad that God put you in our path.
Wow! Thanks for sharing this challenging and inspiring post.
Love,
Sherry
I have also taken a ride "suggested" -um . . . planned . . . by Jesus. I understand where you are and how you are comforted by knowing this was not an accident but His actual plan. It is definitely a journey of purpose and despite the difficulties, I think you will one day believe (if not already) that it is a journey of privilege. I pray that He will continue to bless and strengthen you and David and Rob as well as your families as you continue on Hos chosen path. What glory you give Him, Rose!!!
Oooo...that's good stuff Rose. Very good. Thank you!
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